Summer

As summer comes to a crashing halt, the dark cloud of Kindergarten looms over me. I know it's the natural progression. I know that they will love it! I realize that it is now time to release them into the unknown world, where other people besides me will influence them. I am crying on the inside with a constant queasiness in my stomach. I want to yell out to the world.....

"THESE ARE MY BABIES AND I AM NOT READY !!!"

Bitter Sweet

Today was bitter sweet for me. In the morning we attended Kindergarten Orientation and this afternoon we attended Preschool Farewell. I was forced to come to the immediate realization that my babies are growing up!

As I sat in the orientation, I looked around at those joining me in the room. There were the parents who would soon be sending their youngest of four to Kindergarten. I could tell because they seemed to doze off as the presentation went on. Those that were awake, nodded their heads with the experience of the issue being discussed. These parents knew everyone in the room. They were already involved in the PTA. They wrote nothing down and they skipped uniform measurements.

I, on the other hand, was in the "First Time Parent" Group. Those people who were wide eyed and writing every thing down. The ones who filled out all the paperwork and passed it in today. We were the ones sitting closest to the video screen, hoping to catch each and every image. We listened to every word, we looked around to see new faces. We were the ones writing down lists and volunteering for every upcoming event. We had the butterflies in our stomach, as if we were going to Kindergarten. We were the ones ordering every uniform component possible, spending $550.00 in five minutes.

In the afternoon, the same pattern could be seen. There were the parents that have sat in the chairs four times to say Farewell to Preschool and those who wanted front row seats. There were the parents using cell phones to take one picture and others, like me, snapping every movement both in pictures and video. The "Fourth Time Parents," came from work and left immediately after the presentation. We "First Time Parents" took the entire day off and stayed until the lights were shut off. The "Fourth Time Parents" mouthed every word to every song that the kids sang. They waved to other parents in the audience and had a smile that needed to be painted on. On the other side of the fence, the "First Time Parents"just sat in amazement with tears running down our cheeks.

The "Fourth Time Parents" were looking forward to the day when they would no longer need to sit in the school gymnasium....We were looking forward to each and every play, Christmas concert, Mass, Spelling Bee, Science Fair, Etc.... As I walked out with a new "spring" in my step, I felt sorry for those "Fourth Time Parents." I felt sad that they couldn't wait for childhood to disappear. I realized how fortunate we were to have twins. We were given our first and last child at the same time. We will be able to give both of our children the same attention, enthusiasm and interest. Every recital, school play and Christmas Pageant will be fresh, new and exciting. Our children are lucky and we are blessed to have their Educational Journey unfolding before our eyes.

Change?

It's official... I am old!

38 !

It's not that bad....I think the anxiety leading up to it was much worse.
I guess I can find some reason to celebrate today!
Is there cake???

Only a number

Ask me my age on any given day and I mentally have to do the math to answer you.

Ask me my age today.....

Ask me my age tomorrow.....

Here I sit on the eve of my 38th birthday with the sense of impending doom looming over my head. I find it troubling to be 38. I realize now that I am "middle aged." Both of my grandmothers died in their seventies, if heredity proves correct so will I. All day I have thought about them and how they probably felt about turning 38. They were probably both too busy with jobs, houses and families to even realize that half of their life was behind them.



Funny how a number that wasn't there yesterday can make you feel older or look older when looking in a mirror. What is in a number? Why do they mean so much to us?



What is 38?

How do you truly measure a life time?

525,600 minutes in a year.

I have been on this Earth for 19,972,800 minutes.

How many do I have left?

How many will be filled with pain?

How many will be filled with love and laughter?



I know that everyone reading, especially those older than me are wondering why this number is such a big deal to me? I can see you sitting there reading this thinking, "If only I could be 38 again..." I can also hear you talking to the computer and saying, "come on Jennifer....you have so many years left, celebrate your birthday and be happy!"



I know that how I look upon being 38 is all up to me. I can consider it negative or I can place a positive spin on it. Tomorrow when you ask me my age it will rattle off my tongue with little thought. Maybe I'll forget about it in a few days and have to redo the math. For the next 4 hours and 19 minutes I am 37 and for that I am grateful.

The Earth

Tonight McKallum asked me, "Mom, how did God create the whole Earth?"

I replied that God was all powerful and he must have had a plan....

McKallum replied with a smile..."He must have had a cloud blueprint, because there are only clouds where God lives!"

Oh, to have such a vivid, innocent imagination.

Stranger In The Park

Today my assistant and I took nine children under the age of five to catch tadpoles. We went to Forest Park and set out to capture tadpoles, in hopes we could watch them transform. Each child had a chance to cast their net into the water. All in all we collected four tadpoles, some river grass, a snail, some microscopic animals and a lily pad.

As we were walking back to our van, we stopped to see some tadpoles that a middle school class had found. The program is called ECOS and it is offered to students in hopes that ecology will be taught. Very popular in Springfield, most classes attend as their annual field trip. The lead ECOS teacher was sitting, keeping watch over the students' treasure and answering a million questions. He introduced himself and welcomed our children to peek at all the specimen. While we visited his classroom, he asked me about mine. I explained that I was a teacher and that I had opened an educational daycare when my twins were born. He continued to quiz me asking the children's ages, our location, our demographics and our curriculum. He was impressed that my class was so well behaved. He was taken with the fact that I took the children out of my home on a daily field trip. As we were leaving, he shook my hand and said, "Obviously teaching these kids is a true passion for you. No one would give this much of them self or work this hard if it was a job!"

All day I have been pondering his comment. Yes, I love my work. Yes, I love my kids. Yes, I work hard. Yes, teaching is my PASSION! I want each of my kids to be challenged from the beginning. I want them to gain as many experiences as they can before they are faced with the conformity of school. I want to be a memorable part of their happy childhoods. I want to sit back one day and realize that I dedicated my life to bettering the lives of children. Funny how a life time can be summed up by a stranger in the park.

Patriotism

As I decorated the outside of our home tonight, it occurred to me that there is something missing in today's society. I wondered how many people my age and younger even knew what Memorial Day was all about. I wondered if people even cared that so many Americans have lost their lives to ensure personal freedoms. Americans as a whole are so self-centered that I doubt many take the time to think of these fallen heroes and the families they left behind.

During WWII it seemed that every window on Main Street displayed some kind of Patriotic decorations. Homes flew American flags with pride and windows were adorned with soldier support. In today's world there are a few individuals like myself that take the time to decorate their homes. In general we rely on the city and town governments to put up flags in May and take them down in September. We assume that someone else will take care of the remembrance while we get a day off from work. The beaches will be packed no doubt...picnics will be had....The Unofficial Start of Summer! That's not what Memorial Day is about.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a very patriotic family. My father, a Vietnam Veteran, educated us in the value of freedom and why so many people are willing to fight for it. My mother made sure that the flags were hung and the decorations displayed. Both took the time to take us to the Memorial Day Parade and explain to us the importance of remembrance. I try to follow in their footsteps and teach my children how wonderful America is and just how lucky we are to live here.

Tonight, I challenge anyone reading to set aside some time to talk to your children about Patriotism and the significance of Memorial Day. Spend a few dollars and purchase some flags....decorate the front porch of your home. Spend Monday with your family, find a local parade to watch....participate in town observances. Be Patriotic and make sure that future generations have an understanding of this great country and how it became that way. Freedom is not FREE....let them know it!