Bitter Sweet

Today was bitter sweet for me. In the morning we attended Kindergarten Orientation and this afternoon we attended Preschool Farewell. I was forced to come to the immediate realization that my babies are growing up!

As I sat in the orientation, I looked around at those joining me in the room. There were the parents who would soon be sending their youngest of four to Kindergarten. I could tell because they seemed to doze off as the presentation went on. Those that were awake, nodded their heads with the experience of the issue being discussed. These parents knew everyone in the room. They were already involved in the PTA. They wrote nothing down and they skipped uniform measurements.

I, on the other hand, was in the "First Time Parent" Group. Those people who were wide eyed and writing every thing down. The ones who filled out all the paperwork and passed it in today. We were the ones sitting closest to the video screen, hoping to catch each and every image. We listened to every word, we looked around to see new faces. We were the ones writing down lists and volunteering for every upcoming event. We had the butterflies in our stomach, as if we were going to Kindergarten. We were the ones ordering every uniform component possible, spending $550.00 in five minutes.

In the afternoon, the same pattern could be seen. There were the parents that have sat in the chairs four times to say Farewell to Preschool and those who wanted front row seats. There were the parents using cell phones to take one picture and others, like me, snapping every movement both in pictures and video. The "Fourth Time Parents," came from work and left immediately after the presentation. We "First Time Parents" took the entire day off and stayed until the lights were shut off. The "Fourth Time Parents" mouthed every word to every song that the kids sang. They waved to other parents in the audience and had a smile that needed to be painted on. On the other side of the fence, the "First Time Parents"just sat in amazement with tears running down our cheeks.

The "Fourth Time Parents" were looking forward to the day when they would no longer need to sit in the school gymnasium....We were looking forward to each and every play, Christmas concert, Mass, Spelling Bee, Science Fair, Etc.... As I walked out with a new "spring" in my step, I felt sorry for those "Fourth Time Parents." I felt sad that they couldn't wait for childhood to disappear. I realized how fortunate we were to have twins. We were given our first and last child at the same time. We will be able to give both of our children the same attention, enthusiasm and interest. Every recital, school play and Christmas Pageant will be fresh, new and exciting. Our children are lucky and we are blessed to have their Educational Journey unfolding before our eyes.

Change?

It's official... I am old!

38 !

It's not that bad....I think the anxiety leading up to it was much worse.
I guess I can find some reason to celebrate today!
Is there cake???

Only a number

Ask me my age on any given day and I mentally have to do the math to answer you.

Ask me my age today.....

Ask me my age tomorrow.....

Here I sit on the eve of my 38th birthday with the sense of impending doom looming over my head. I find it troubling to be 38. I realize now that I am "middle aged." Both of my grandmothers died in their seventies, if heredity proves correct so will I. All day I have thought about them and how they probably felt about turning 38. They were probably both too busy with jobs, houses and families to even realize that half of their life was behind them.



Funny how a number that wasn't there yesterday can make you feel older or look older when looking in a mirror. What is in a number? Why do they mean so much to us?



What is 38?

How do you truly measure a life time?

525,600 minutes in a year.

I have been on this Earth for 19,972,800 minutes.

How many do I have left?

How many will be filled with pain?

How many will be filled with love and laughter?



I know that everyone reading, especially those older than me are wondering why this number is such a big deal to me? I can see you sitting there reading this thinking, "If only I could be 38 again..." I can also hear you talking to the computer and saying, "come on Jennifer....you have so many years left, celebrate your birthday and be happy!"



I know that how I look upon being 38 is all up to me. I can consider it negative or I can place a positive spin on it. Tomorrow when you ask me my age it will rattle off my tongue with little thought. Maybe I'll forget about it in a few days and have to redo the math. For the next 4 hours and 19 minutes I am 37 and for that I am grateful.

The Earth

Tonight McKallum asked me, "Mom, how did God create the whole Earth?"

I replied that God was all powerful and he must have had a plan....

McKallum replied with a smile..."He must have had a cloud blueprint, because there are only clouds where God lives!"

Oh, to have such a vivid, innocent imagination.