Going for the Gold

     My sister and I are ten years apart.  There is nothing that is similar between us except for the blood that runs through our veins.  She has a laissez-faire attitude about getting things done and I need everything done yesterday. She's a finishes things and I obsess about  perfection.  She's a procrastinator and I try to have everything done three weeks ahead of schedule.  No scenario could prove these points more than the story of the 1988 Reading Olympics.  I was a junior in high school and she was in the first grade.  In hopes that the children in her class would be encouraged to read, her teacher introduced the "Reading Olympics."  If the child read 5-10 books they would receive a Bronze Medal....15-19 books a Silver Medal....anything over 19 THE GOLD!!!  My sister set out on her Olympic journey.  She read and read.....she read 17, 18, 19......And she stopped.  One book away from the gold and she stopped!!!???? Nothing could get her to read one more book.  Why would anyone stop before reaching the gold?  When my mother asked her why she would not read one more book, Melissa responded, "I want the silver medal. I'm happy with the silver."  She was awarded the silver medal and I was furious!

     All of my life I have been a competitor in everything I set out to do.  I wanted to be the best soccer goalie, the best singer in a high school play, the smartest in the class, etc...  The same is true when I became a mother.  I wanted my children to be the smartest, the cutest, the strongest, etc...  Their successes would be a testament to my superb parenting.  I enrolled them in dance, swimming, gymnastics, ice skating, Chinese lessons....you name it my children can do it!  At age four they can write the whole alphabet, spell their names, recite songs and poems, complete first grade math papers.  My children have been groomed to obtain the gold.  Until today...

     When I went to pick the twins up from Preschool, the teacher took me aside.  She asked my if my daughter knew her letters. What? Is there some confusion?  Yes, my daughter and son know and recognize all the letters in the alphabet.  Today their teacher was practicing with her, preparing her for her Kindergarten Screening.  When shown the letters, my daughter said she did not know them.  She only named five.  Five???  What???  My heart began racing and my mind wandered....WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?  WHY DIDN'T MY CHILD SHOW OFF HER SKILLS??


     Calmly, I walked the kids to the van and once inside I asked my daughter about the allegations her teacher had proclaimed.  McKenna responded, "Mommy, I didn't feel like telling my teacher the right answers.  Other kids don't know their letters, so it is okay if I don't."  Anyone who knows me knows that this almost caused cardiac arrest and a 22 car pile up.  My daughter had no desire to prove herself to her teacher.  She did not want to show off.  She did not want to go for the gold.  How am I to handle this?  Think....Think.....Inhale.....Exhale.....Think.....

     I know that my children are smart.  I know that I have done a great job both as a teacher and a mother.  I realized today that I want the gold and that my children, like my sister,  might have a different color in mind.  I have to step back and let my children find their way.  I have to accept who they are and what they decide to do with their lives.  I have to accept that my wanting them to be the best does not translate into them wanting to be the best.  I decided that these thoughts were right, I was on the right path....I would get over this little blip in the radar.........TOMORROW!  Tonight it is Flashcards, worksheets and lectures.  She is only four and for now we are going to walk on the same path.  Maybe someday she can show me the many colors of life but, today we are reaching for the gold!